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Post by 20mia08 on Jun 16, 2019 11:54:39 GMT -6
 Frostpaw -- ApprenticeNightmares had kept the young apprentice from a proper night of rest, leaving him sitting outside of the apprentice's den shortly after moonhigh as he attempted to regain himself. He couldn't bear to keep himself captive in the sleeping area any longer-- if they woke up and saw him quivering like this from a dream, he'd be seen as weak, and he'd never forgive himself. He had to prove himself an able member of WillowClan, otherwise he'd forever be remembered as the "runt of WillowClan". While Frostpaw was uncertain of what he wanted for himself, he was positive that he didn't want to go down in history as that. His uncontrollable shaking was slowly subsiding now, leaving the hunched-over charcoal tom to slow his breathing. He didn't quite understand why the nightmare upset him so strongly, seeing that his relationship with his deceased siblings had been everything but fantastic. But death- death was a fickle creature. It seemed to stir up emotions and feelings that one may have never realized were there. Maybe that was even the case for Frostpaw. He hadn't paid attention to how swiftly time had passed, or if it had really passed at all. It had to have been at least roughly a moon since the death of his final two siblings, so he couldn't comprehend why he'd have a nightmare about it now. In fact, Frostpaw seldom thought about his littermates, or his family in general. Glowering down at his limbs, the apprentice noticed that his forepaws were still trembling from the mental trauma. "Stop shaking," his hiss was silent under his breath, unnoticeable like the tiniest of subtle breezes. Silent, just the way he liked it. |
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Post by gingerluna on Jun 16, 2019 14:41:08 GMT -6
Brightsplash prided herself on her ability to read other's emotions. She wanted to be there for her clanmates as much as she could, and her suspicions had often proven correct. So when she saw Frostpaw staring at the ground, shaking and gasping, she walked over. She'd gotten up to make dirt, and she was tired, but unable to go back to sleep without checking on him. It wasn't hard to realize the apprentice was in distress, but she didn't want to startle him, or embarrass him.
"It's a bit late," she whispered, tilting her head curiously as she looked at him. "Something keeping you up?"
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Post by 20mia08 on Jun 16, 2019 15:06:03 GMT -6
He cringed when he heard a voice, not out of fear, but out of...vexation. He was silently praying that not another soul in WillowClan would be stirring, but it would seem that someone was out to prove him wrong. Now, Frostpaw felt that he'd have to explain himself and his situation, go on about emotions and all that mushy stuff. The apprentice wouldn't be at odds with recovering by himself in silence, but he supposed that Brightsplash was only being polite. He had no right to snap at her, at least not yet. If she tried to press her presence upon him by trying to get him to fess up to any sentiment regarding the death of his siblings, he wouldn't hesitate to revert to his hostile nature.
"Just a bad dream," his reply to her inquiry arrived promptly, glancing out of the side of those emerald orbs instead of facing his older clanmate. If she peered into his eyes, she might discover the fright hidden behind lock-and-key, and he couldn't permit that. "I'm fine." Deep conversations weren't Frostpaw's forte, and he didn't intend on changing that any time soon. He was a moody adolescent, and he planned on remaining that way.
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Post by gingerluna on Jun 20, 2019 16:56:43 GMT -6
"Those can be tricky," Brightsplash replied, not moving to leave or sit down as she tried to assess what would be best. Frostpaw had been through a lot in recent moons, but she knew some cats didn't like to talk about things. It would do no good to push him if he wasn't ready. "Sometimes it helps me to chat with someone, to forget about what's scaring me so I can go back to sleep with a clear head." She attempted to look at the apprentice, but he was avoiding her gaze. "Do you think that might help you?"
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Post by 20mia08 on Jun 20, 2019 17:26:30 GMT -6
"...I like silence." But was that what he really liked, did he even know anymore? Was it because of his aloofness that his last two littermates died, should he have done more?
Frostpaw didn't understand where these thoughts came from, they really weren't his, not typical of him. His gaze remained focused on the earth at his paws, failing to glance up at Brightsplash to even check if the warrior was still nearby. However, he didn't explicitly chase her off, either. He was as indecisive as ever nowadays, and that seemed to only breed more frustration and sharpness from the young tom.
Maybe...company wouldn't be too bad.
At least temporarily.
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Post by gingerluna on Jun 20, 2019 18:03:52 GMT -6
"Mmm," Brightsplash hummed in reply, finally moving to sit down. She was sleepy, but this mattered a great deal. "Well, how about I stay silently by your side?" She withheld physical affection, realizing that the apprentice likely wouldn't appreciate it, but took a seat close to his side. She looked up at the stars, yawning loudly. She'd sleep here if she had to.
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Post by 20mia08 on Jun 20, 2019 18:31:01 GMT -6
...from what he could remember, neither his parents nor his siblings ever sat by his side. His siblings always spoke to him scornfully, while his parents were so preoccupied with all the other kittens from the...massive litter. His actions and overall attitude may have made his situation well-deserved, but having someone sit beside him made him feel almost complete.
"...I think I'd like that." Agreeableness didn't come naturally, it may have been likely that his sleepiness played a role, even if the shock from his nightmare had kept him wide awake. Frostpaw shifted to make himself more comfortable, although he still kept his distance from the older warrior. He had to keep his aloof reputation intact, it was really the only thing he had at this point.
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Post by gingerluna on Jun 20, 2019 19:54:20 GMT -6
Brightsplash let out another low hum, closing her eyes wearily. She was so glad she wasn't on dawn patrol tomorrow. The life she'd chosen wasn't easy. Shouldering the burdens of others had the capacity to burn through her emotions like flame in a pine forest, but she had no regrets. She kept her promise and remained silent, knowing the apprentice would speak if he decided to.
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Post by 20mia08 on Jun 20, 2019 20:10:08 GMT -6
He hadn't the slightest idea as to how long he sat there in silence with the warrior, he wasn't counting the passing moments. It was like he was sleeping with his eyes opened, staring into the ground, his mind blank for what felt like the first time in an eternity. The change of pace- it was almost enjoyable for Frostpaw.
For the first time ever, he elected to break the quietness. "...do you have family, Brightsplash?" He still refused to look at her, his pitiful state and sudden friendliness was damaging to his ridiculously massive ego. Yet, he still couldn't deny the feeling of serenity from these moments of silence and peace. Maybe...maybe they'd have to do this more often.
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Post by gingerluna on Jun 21, 2019 23:04:14 GMT -6
Brightsplash pondered the question for a long moment. What did family mean now, anyways? She felt like she had a family, with the Clan around her, but she knew that wasn’t the question Frostpaw was asking. “Not really,” she replied, opening her eyes and blinking the tired away. “But I feel like I do.” She looked over at Frostpaw. “Don’t waste your heart feeling sorry for me. I am content.”
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Post by 20mia08 on Jun 22, 2019 8:36:04 GMT -6
"I didn't say I was feeling sorry for anyone," the grumpiness returned in a snap, a defensive side-glare sent in the direction of the older warrior before Frostpaw returned his focus to the earth. He drew in a deep breath, forcing his ribs outwards and ruffling his fur before he exhaled slowly. Frustration sparked under his pelt, and he fell into a deep silence as he contemplated over his attitude and finally accepted that he felt rather guilty for snapping at the kind she-cat. She meant no harm, and he appreciated how nice she was being to him so far.
As his frame finally relaxed, the charcoal apprentice finally released a short sigh. If she chose now to get up and walk away from him and get fed up with his attitude, he'd understand. He'd feel vexed, but he'd still understand. "Sorry." He replied quietly, refusing to glance up and make eye-contact with Brightsplash. "...I was just curious. I don't have anymore family, either. But I guess...they really left me the day I was born."
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Post by gingerluna on Jun 22, 2019 9:17:24 GMT -6
Brightsplash was taken aback by the apprentice's sudden change in mood, but decided to simply ride it out. He was obviously dealing with much right now. "My apologies for the assumption," she replied, looking over at him with a neutral expression until he apologized. "It's quite alright. I believe family is a choice, even if blood is not. By that definition, you have plenty of family." She looked brightly back at him, pushing to her paws and stretching. "I would love to stay, but I fear I might curl up and sleep right in the dirt." She let out a low chuff, and looked back at him. "Will you be alright?"
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Post by 20mia08 on Jun 22, 2019 9:36:32 GMT -6
Family was a choice? But, he didn't choose to have his last living family members die, nor did he choose to be born into such an overwhelming litter. It took a while for Frostpaw to understand what the warrior was getting at, and he found himself frowning. "In that case, I have driven my family away." He had never been this deep into thought before, and it was almost agonizing for him. Not to mention, it felt very unnatural. The spotted tom almost felt somewhat disappointed to have the older warrior leaving so soon, but he decided to hide such emotions as he typically did. "I'll be alright now, thank you. Good night."
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Post by gingerluna on Jun 22, 2019 11:03:57 GMT -6
Brightsplash balked at the assertion, pausing to look back at him with a pained expression. "Darling, of course you haven't," she murmured, voice sincere but quiet. "If they've made bad choices, that does not reflect on you." She felt uncomfortable leaving now that the apprentice had opened up, so she stood, looking at him. "Find your own family, Frostpaw. Mousefern and I are both here for you."
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Post by 20mia08 on Jun 22, 2019 11:15:15 GMT -6
The silver apprentice turned his head to finally face her completely, eyes round with shock. Did she just call him darling? He was surprised with himself to not be feeling and overwhelming sensation of rage. Yet at the same time, he was almost always referred to as something like "fox-heart", or "you insensitive brat!", never something as kind as "darling". There wasn't an admonitory edge to her tone, either. Frostpaw opened and closed his mouth a few times, fumbling and choking on his words before he finally found himself, "...really? You mean that?"
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Post by gingerluna on Jun 22, 2019 11:27:34 GMT -6
"Of course," Brightsplash replied, somewhat horrified that Frostpaw would question such a basic fact. "No matter what, Frostpaw. You can always come and talk to me." She let out a low purr and stepped towards him, brushing her cheek against his. "Everyone is here for you. We all love you." She stepped back to give the apprentice space, assuming he'd want it.
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Post by 20mia08 on Jun 24, 2019 17:43:31 GMT -6
He was uncertain about the physical contact, it was a litttle much for a tom so unused to touch and socialization. However, the charcoal tom bit his lip and forced back a sharp comment, instead allowing her warmth to melt his icy core. "Thank you, Brightsplash," Frostpaw responded, his voice confident and smooth. "...I'll have to take you up on that someday, I'm sure."
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Post by gingerluna on Jun 26, 2019 18:20:52 GMT -6
"I hope you do," Brightsplash replied, turning from him to finally get the rest she needed. "May StarClan bless you with sweet dreams." She padded off towards the warriors' den, feeling hollow and warm at the same time.
(fin)
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