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Post by theatricals on Jul 5, 2019 13:40:06 GMT -6
She didn't like the fact that leaves consistently stuck to her paws, and the cold seeping into her fur was something she could do without. But with most cats tucked up in their dens, Thistlemoon knew that this was as good a time as any to search for prey. Not everyone trusted her, for good reasons. Even if her white lie suggested that she had left for good reasons, it didn't make her feel any better that she wasn't being entirely honest. Since then, she had taken to hunting for the Clan whenever she could, even going without a meal when the prey pile dropped low.
The weather was taking a turn for the worse. It took a moment for her to realize that the tiny white dots in the sky was indeed snow, and that the clouds rolling in suggested a storm on its way. Leaf-fall was very quickly coming to a close, and for her, it couldn't be the worst time.
Sighing to herself, she kicked a leaf off of her back paw and continued to walk, hating her stomach for its loud rumbling. She hadn't found anything all evening, but it didn't feel right to return empty-pawed. Set in her task, she padded off once more.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 5, 2019 18:58:10 GMT -6
Prey was beginning to be scare earlier this year, at least it felt like it when he was stalking the territory and finding nothing. It wasn't uncommon for Jaggedpeak to be out hunting on his own, most patrols avoiding having him with them if they could. If they couldn't then they just allowed him to go off on his own and rejoin before heading back to camp. Lately he had taken to walking with Echostar, hunting with her, spending time with her when she wasn't busy with her duties. Some had noticed, but they thought maybe it was Echostar keeping an eye on her angriest warrior. The friendship they had though was full of salt and laughs, something he appreciated about the she-cat.
He ducked beneath a dying bush, ears pricked and jaws parted to catch any prey scent, but only the scent of stale leaves was found. Pushing on he slowed, a familiar scent drifting to him and he stopped, lifting his head with a frown. Thistlemoon. After her initial return he hadn't really talked to her, hadn't stopped to ask her why she left or anything. Twitching his ears he started moving again, following her scent until just ahead she came into view.
Jaggedpeak speed-walked after her, catching up quickly and wasting no time in speaking once he was closer. "We should talk." He stated, leaving really no room for an argument, something that wasn't uncommon for the black and white tom.
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Post by theatricals on Jul 5, 2019 19:16:30 GMT -6
Thistlemoon looked up, startled, when Jaggedpeak suddenly pulled up beside her and demanded that they spoke. The she-cat wracked her brain for anything that she may have done, but it hadn't been long since she returned, so she couldn't figure out what she had done to garner any attention from him specifically. Eyes wide and tongue dry, she only managed a few words, "What about?"
She couldn't say she didn't want to speak with him--she did, as with all of her clanmates--but there was still a heaviness on her shoulders that came from her being separated from her sister. She wanted to distract herself by putting everything into her Clan, which was why him wanting to speak threw her completely off guard.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 5, 2019 20:10:39 GMT -6
He could tell that he had startled her, and he paused to reign in his usual salt and spite so as not to drive her away. "You left. I can guess you wanted to be with your sister. It makes sense," Jaggedpeak started, "What I can't get is why you would leave and not at least say goodbye. I..." He paused, unsure of what exactly his next words were going to be, pace slowing slightly as he frowned. "I thought maybe you'd at least say goodbye to me."
Maybe it was foolish to think so, because she had been just barely a warrior, and their friendship had just barely been that. They'd talked a few times, and she had treated him nicely compared to everyone else, but what exactly did that mean?
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Post by theatricals on Jul 5, 2019 20:16:57 GMT -6
Her eyes shifted back and forth as she stared at him, almost dumbstruck. It almost looked like he had asked her a question she couldn't answer, but in fact, he was basically giving her all the chances in the world to tell him why she had done what she did. It wasn't a lie... it wasn't. "I... didn't think it would happen. I thought I could convin--find her, and help. Help her and Breezehowl--bring them back safe." That was true. "I found them and things... happened. I couldn't come back without trying--trying to find her." Lie. "I didn't think I'd be away so long." The more she spoke, the more she could feel her teeth digging into her tongue. It started out so innocent, but her tangled web of different intentions and acts made it difficult for her to feel confident in how she spoke.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 5, 2019 20:57:43 GMT -6
She seemed tense, like she wasn't sure how to answer, and as she talked, he frowned. Her words were staggered and uncertain sounding and he couldn't figure out why. Was she just nervous about him? Or was it something else? Jaggedpeak tilted his head, confusion evident on his face as he watched her. If there was something he understood though was that if she had something to hide, maybe there was a reason for it. He wanted answers still, wanted to understand, but he wasn't sure he ever could. His brother was long gone, and he only recently had any really close relationship with another cat with Echostar, the beginnings of a friendship between him and Thistlemoon.
"Are you...are you okay?" He finally asked, not sure if there would be a solid answer for that, because it seemed from his perspective that she wasn't.
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Post by theatricals on Jul 5, 2019 21:28:37 GMT -6
She was taken back by the question. It seemed odd, considering the situation. Nothing was ever alright, was it? Even on those days of lying in the sun with her sister and Breezehowl, she could still feel unrest seeping into her bones. It was a terrible feeling, and one she had learned to live with. But now that she was back, she was left with the nonstop feeling that she needed to be with her once more. For a moment, she thought it might even be a possibility, but then the memories of their harsh fight was brought right back to the surface and she was thrown out of her thoughts again.
"Of course," she responded softly, almost as a sigh. She didn't try to hide her discontent, but the extent of it was hidden far beneath her memories. "I'm with my Clan, where else would I want to be?"
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 5, 2019 21:34:45 GMT -6
It was painful to see, like a mirror reflecting back a young version of himself, before his anger had really taken hold. Back when he spent the first moon as an apprentice awake, waiting for his brother to come back. Waiting for all the pain and sadness to have been a lie and a dream and that things would be okay. But it hadn't been. Without Blazekit beside him he had lost the last family he had, and the not knowing if he was okay out in the world with their crazy father still haunted him. "With your sister?" He quietly asked, casting his gaze towards the border she had returned from.
"You don't have to tell my anything, but I get the feeling that everything hasn't been all rainbows and sunshine for you since you left, and maybe even now it still feels like a storm raging in you?"
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Post by theatricals on Jul 8, 2019 15:36:38 GMT -6
Thistlemoon didn't like being as transparent as she was, but she couldn't help it. She had always worn her heart for everyone to see, and her mother had even commented on it once. Flattening her ears, she remembered what else she had lost, and was only just reminded that her father had yet to even speak with him. She opened her mouth to explain more, but quickly came to realize that with the "truth" she had made, she couldn't tell him exactly what had happened. "I miss her," Thistlemoon said shortly. "I wish I knew where she was--or if she's okay." It was vague, but true, although she wished she could believe the story she made up over the real one: that her sister had basically told her to get lost, with Thistlemoon insisting that they returned to where they belonged.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 11, 2019 0:24:03 GMT -6
He couldn't fault her for missing her sister, because he still missed his brother after so many moons, years. He especially couldn't fault her for wishing she knew if her sister was okay, if she was safe. It was something that would keep him awake sometimes, wondering if Blazekit was still alive, what he was doing, if he had a warrior name like Jaggedpeak did. Nodding slowly, the black and white tom sighed, "I understand. It must not have been easy. Losing her." He couldn't tell exactly what had happened between Thistlemoon and Tansyglow, but it had either been tragedy or a fight, and given the way she spoke, he was betting that the two sisters had disagreed. Much like how his brother and he had disagreed the night that Jaggedkit had stayed in AspenClan and his brother had left with their father.
"You've been restless since you came back." He commented, shuffling his paws, ears twitching backwards as he thought out his next words, trying to maintain a calmness that he was so unused to using when talking to another cat. "You...you're not going to leave again are you?"
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Post by theatricals on Jul 12, 2019 15:19:46 GMT -6
The question was so on the nose that Thistlemoon was thrown for a loop. She had told herself many times no, that she was always loyal to her Clan, but the thought was always in the back of her mind, and she hated having it brought to the surface. Not like it was Jaggedpeak's fault, but it was a question she was more than unwilling to answer. "No... no, I don't think so." It was the best response she could give him considering the circumstances. She could tell him that she didn't want to leave, but there were more than a few factors dragging her in the other direction.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 12, 2019 18:59:41 GMT -6
Jaggedpeak fell silent, brow creased as he watched her, saw how she was changed from the young cat who had been so confident in talking to him. Now...she seemed tired, weary, like there was a whirlwind of thoughts in her mind and the only thing that helped was moving, hunting, doing things for the clan. He'd watched her go in and out of the camp at all hours of the day, returning late with prey. He flicked his tail back and forth, "I...I hope you don't. I'd miss you."
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Post by theatricals on Jul 13, 2019 22:41:10 GMT -6
Thistlemoon smiled gently. At least she knew that one cat would miss her, although she couldn't for the life of her know why he specifically would. It wasn't something she put much thought into--she appreciated the sentiment. "I'm hoping Echostar will come to trust me again. I want to show that I am loyal." She had done a fairly good job at that so far, with constantly going out to hunt and patrol, but sometimes a cat only saw what they wanted to see. She hadn't been able to tell whether the she-cat had even spared her a glance on those occasions.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 13, 2019 23:15:53 GMT -6
At the mention of Echostar he shifted his weight, ears flicking forward, "She can be hard sometimes, but its because she worries for the clan. I...I know I don't doubt you. I don't think you're a danger to the clan, and I think you're loyal. I mean you came back to us, that means something." Jaggedpeak tilted his head, gaze flickering back towards the camp before settling back on Thistlemoon.
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Post by theatricals on Jul 17, 2019 14:59:08 GMT -6
Her eyes widened at the idea that she might be seen as a "danger." What danger would she posed? Her confusion was clear on her face, but it wasn't something she wanted to think about. It made her sick to even consider. "I wonder if they'll ever look at me the way they did before." And by that, she meant not at all. She was a kind but shy kit, which hadn't changed much in apprenticeship, which caused her to keep her head down more than anything. Now, she wasn't sure if that would make things better or worse. "...What do you think I should do?"
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Post by darkwolf45 on Aug 27, 2019 21:28:04 GMT -6
Jaggedpeak cocked his head to the side, clearly in thought, brow creased as he mulled over her words, her question. "Stop trying so hard. Just act like everyone else." He finally said, ears flicking as he continued, "If you keep grinding yourself into the ground to 'prove yourself' or whatever, then you'll only draw more attention to yourself. Everyone will start expecting you to prove yourself but you don't have anything to prove. You're an AspenClan warrior, you are home, that's what matters."
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Post by theatricals on Aug 31, 2019 15:36:28 GMT -6
The inspiring way in which Jaggedpeak spoke was encouraging, but she couldn't help but feel it would never be that simple. Every look--or, really, every turn of the head away from her--would have her believe that she had done something wrong, or that she wasn't doing enough. She liked to hunt and patrol, but the weight of her lie still hung over her, and even if some accepted her, she couldn't help but feel she had deceived them, too, by thinking that perhaps being with her sister was better than the Clan. "You make it sound easy," she said, almost choking back the last word as she realized she had spoken her thoughts out loud.
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