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Post by niftyshark on Dec 31, 2019 8:43:06 GMT -6
Coyotestorm wasn’t sure what to expect. Did she fight off an enemy warrior? Did she trip and fall, hit her head on a rock? What she did say was wildly out of anything he could expect.
“Your... what?” he choked out. He could barely get the words past his tongue. She was pregnant? Since when? By whom? He stared at her in disbelief, but the spasms that wracked her looked too familiar to be fake. He was too familiar with the loss. Too familiar with the look on Rowanmask’s face and how it mirrored his own feelings. He wanted to turn away, but his paws were rooted to the snow.
Did he get the medicine cat? Moss to stop the bleeding? Some herb? He knew it would be beneficial to do something, but he found he couldn’t do anything at all.
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Post by theatricals on Dec 31, 2019 13:07:28 GMT -6
Even had she felt strong enough to continue on to camp, with Coyotestorm standing before her, she knew it was not going to happen. Only a few fox-lengths away, she took note of a pine tree with leaves settled at the base, untouched by the snow. Turning took a much larger effort than just walking, and she couldn't discern what she was fighting for at that point, but dragging herself to the tree was the only form of comfort she had. She didn't look at him before moving, and it was only when she slumped down slowly at the base of the tree that she managed to drag her tired gaze upwards once more.
The cold calm that settled over her was nothing entirely new, but it still felt different in a way she couldn't explain. She had pushed everything from her mind for so long, but a whisper in the back of her mind cried out for her mother to be here for her. Knowing she wouldn't come was a crushing blow. The fight between her and Coyotestorm ensured that, concerned as he may be, he would only help her out of obligation to a fellow clanmate. With those twisted, mournful thoughts and the blood staining the leaves, she let out a soft, nearly inaudible laugh. She surely looked ridiculous at that point, and it was only then that she turned her attention back to her clanmate. "It's okay," she breathed. It wasn't, but she could do nothing now. "You can go back to camp." Any other time the exchange would seem almost casual, but now it was bogged down by her mistake and the reality that her mother was not here to be with her.
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Post by niftyshark on Jan 1, 2020 19:20:21 GMT -6
Normally Coyotestorm would do just that, but something was stopping him. It took him a moment too long to realize why exactly.
It wasn’t just that he knew what the loss was like. He was reminded inexplicably of Emberstreak. No one could save her. But was this situation different? He followed Rowanmask to the tree, then shook his head. “I’m not leaving.” He was just about useless, but maybe he could make a difference to some degree. “When did you know about these... kits?” It was laughable probably, what he was trying to do, but he didn’t stop to worry about it.
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Post by theatricals on Jan 1, 2020 19:33:51 GMT -6
It was a small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless, knowing that she didn't have to be alone with her thoughts. Even so, being here with him was proof that she hadn't cut all the ties she had claimed to. They were his kits--her kits--and she had lost them. She had lost them before she even got a real chance to know them--or know about them. She winced as a fresh wave of discomfort washed over her, and she briefly pushed her muzzle into her paw. "I didn't," she sighed softly as the pain briefly disappeared. It would only get worse from there, and she knew it, but she could live in this peaceful moment for just a little longer. "I didn't know."
She could have very easily lied to him, both from skill and willingness to do so. But the more she knew, the less she could lie to his face.
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Post by niftyshark on Jan 1, 2020 20:24:57 GMT -6
He was silent for an uncomfortably long moment. She didn’t know? Coyotestorm didn’t know enough about pregnancy to understand that, so he didn’t question it. The pause gave him the briefest time to actually think.
And he didn’t like what his mind subconsciously came up with.
His posture was one of uncertainty as he regarded Rowanmask. “Who was the kits’...?” He couldn’t bring himself to finish. There was a nagging concern in the back of his mind, and he felt like something inside him was sinking. Coyotestorm repressed it quickly, blatant denial making it easy to do. He wasn’t about to assume Rowanmask was monogamous. There was a brief hope that she wasn’t, though he wasn’t aware of that fact.
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Post by theatricals on Jan 1, 2020 20:47:58 GMT -6
Her pupils shifted back and forth, looking at him for any sign that he may say anything more. But he truly did not know--he thought that she might have gone off to be with someone else. The thought may have been insulting to another cat, but she just found it to be foolish. Who else had she gotten close to? How much time did she even spend in the camp anymore? It seemed so basic, so mindless, but that was wrong of her. She had also been basic and mindless in every action leading up to now, and she faltered. "Do you see anyone else out here?" It was such a blunt statement, but one that went beyond just the idea of who had fathered her kits. No one else was out here because they didn't know she was in trouble. She didn't make it known, because she had wanted to handle Ivorysky alone. And now here she was.
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Post by niftyshark on Jan 2, 2020 20:12:27 GMT -6
Confusion. That was the most notable feeling Coyotestorm could identify. How was that an answer? It was just a vague question in response to his own, one that seemed to have more gravity than he could grasp.
Unless it was an answer. One that immediately put him on edge, if it was true. The timing aligned almost perfectly...
His gaze unfocused. It was like Nightflower all over again. His head swam. “Not again...” he whispered, closing his eyes against the bright flames he swore were there. “Why does this keep happening? Why me?” He was muttering to himself, practically unaware that the words were out loud. Did StarClan have something against him? Was his life really one punishment after another? What was the point of growing attached to anyone if they’d all be stolen away?
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Post by theatricals on Jan 2, 2020 22:46:53 GMT -6
His answer was quiet, but she could still see his reaction, and it hit her like a sharp thorn. She was unable to pick herself up after opening her mouth to respond. Was there really anything to say? Stronger this time was the wave of pain that took over her, and she knew well enough that this would be her responsibility, her role to play. It was not a matter of choice. Why did this happen to him? She couldn't say, and the fault he carried she could never begin to understand. Maybe he really was upset over the loss, but in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but attribute it to a burden that he hadn't wished to carry, and now the burden was being held in a different way. She was not a hopeful cat, and she couldn't help but blink away the dampness from her eyes. "You can go," she said again, but this time did not look him in the eye. Everything would be taken care of by her, and then she would return to camp, and in her clouded thoughts she concluded that everything would go back to normal, despite the hole in her heart telling otherwise.
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Post by niftyshark on Jan 4, 2020 17:07:51 GMT -6
Coyotestorm shook his head. Rowanmask’s voice managed to reach him, and it was just enough to get him to focus on her again. Abandoning her like that would be like abandoning Emberstreak. He knew he could never do that.
He neared her cautiously, almost with the expectation that getting too close would kill her. It wasn’t like he truly believed that would be the case, but some inner part of his mind wouldn’t let the idea rest. He stopped a whisker-length before her, eyes searching. “What should I do?” he asked, trying hard to focus on the present. On trying to find them a way out.
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Post by theatricals on Jan 4, 2020 20:52:35 GMT -6
Rowanmask blinked quickly, the realization coming upon her that she would have to deliver these kits. These kits that would never see the light of day, would never take a breath. It was not something she thought of before, but it was a sudden stab in her heart that had her taking a sharp intake of breath. "Just stay here," she choked, pushing her face into the mess of leaves beneath her.
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Post by niftyshark on Jan 4, 2020 21:48:39 GMT -6
Her fear was mirrored on his own face, and he nodded mutely. Staying there. He could do that. It was a far cry from his earlier determination to leave, but now that he understood what was happening, nothing was the same. Coyotestorm perched in front of her, on edge, ready to do anything else if it was needed.
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