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Post by gingerluna on Mar 21, 2019 9:18:12 GMT -6
of days when love was true.
After her daughter died, Amberhaze went days without grooming herself, barely getting up from her nest, only eating when Whispermoon or Shadowheart shoved prey in front of her. She'd thought losing Frostkit had been the worst possible pain, but she was wrong. Brookpaw, Brook cloud's loss was different. With Frostkit, there'd been time to process and understand it. He was born sick. StarClan had called him back. But Brookcloud, she was about to become a warrior, she'd just gone out for training, there'd been no way to comprehend what'd happened until she was staring at her daughter's body, no sense to make of the tragedy after the fact. Eventually, for Redpaw and Peatpaw's sake, she got up and spoke with them.Yesterday, she'd gone on her first patrol since the accident. She was supposed to go out hunting tomorrow, but she couldn't sleep. She uncurled herself from Shadowheart and stepped out into the dark camp, staring up at the starry sky in the quiet and solitude of the midnight clearing. Which one was Brookcloud? Everything around her was normal, continuing on with the steady beat of Clan life, and she didn't know how it was possible. What was she going to do with herself?
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Post by Warrioress on Mar 21, 2019 13:29:04 GMT -6
Shadowheart had spent the days following Brookcloud's death in a daze, only coming out of it at moments when he tried to get Amberhaze to either eat or leave the nest. Unlike his mate, he spent his days wandering out in the forest, more often than not ending up at the spot where his daughter had died, where she had lost her chance at life. It took the sight of his other kits going through their own grieving process that brought Shadowheart forward, he still missed Brookcloud terribly, but he had started interacting with other cats and had gone out on his own patrol.
Shadowheart blinked open his eyes as he felt movement, having only been dozing. He blinked as he realized that Amberhaze was gone from the nest, he debated for a moment on going after her before heaving himself to his paws and exiting the den to see his mate standing in the camp clearing. They'd barely had any conversation the last couple of days, usually revolving around him trying to get her to leave the nest only to be met with silence. "Amberhaze" he mewed softly as he stepped into the clearing, wondering if he would be welcome or rebuffed.
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Post by gingerluna on Mar 21, 2019 15:55:41 GMT -6
Amberhaze looked back at Shadowheart, her gaze falling from the stars to her mate. "Oh," she said, her expression falling. "I'm so sorry, love. I didn't mean to wake you." She turned to the stars again, somewhat sleepy and feeling dazed. "I wonder where she is," she said, with little warning. "I wonder if she can see us right now."
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Post by Warrioress on Mar 22, 2019 19:15:49 GMT -6
Coming up beside her, Shadowheart gently brushed his tail against Amberhaze's side, his own gaze going to the sky. "You didn't wake me, I wasn't sleeping" he assured her gently. The sudden reminder of Brookcloud's death had him sucking in a deep breath. "I believe she can" he finally managed after a few moments, his throat finally unclenching.
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Post by gingerluna on Mar 22, 2019 19:52:14 GMT -6
"I hope so," Amberhaze sighed, lifting her head up as if she was trying to reach the stars. She brushed her tail against Shadowheart's, closing her eyes and perking up at the warmth of her mate. "Sometimes I wonder why these things happen to us."
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Post by Warrioress on Apr 4, 2019 16:55:27 GMT -6
Shadowheart settled down so that his fur was brushing up against Amberhaze's. Her last words had him shifting his paws "I don't think its ever directed at us in particular" He answered once he managed to get his thoughts in order. "though it certainly seems like it"
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Post by gingerluna on Apr 6, 2019 14:14:45 GMT -6
Amberhaze kept her eyes closed, but relaxed, leaning against her mate. She felt a deep longing for her apprenticeship, for the early days of her time as a warrior, when she confessed her love for Shadowheart and learned she was pregnant with kits and their lives blossomed into perfection like a flower in newleaf. And now everything was so tangled and rotten, and she didn't know what to do about it. They couldn't go back. "What do we do now?" she murmured.
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Post by Warrioress on Apr 16, 2019 21:54:30 GMT -6
Shadowheart thought over the question before speaking "We protect our family, and clan. We will have to continue on, theres nothing else for us to do" he responded softly, his voice nearly breaking at the words. He could feel the pain in his mind and heart at teh words, he didn't wish to have to continue on but he must, for those he loved and for himself.
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Post by gingerluna on Apr 17, 2019 9:54:53 GMT -6
Amberhaze hummed in reply, opening her eyes to look at him. "If I could do it all again," she began in a faraway tone. "I would." She remembered what she'd told him, felt the long settled fires of ambition like embers stirring in her soul. All she'd wanted was to be deputy. That dream seemed so ridiculous now. She'd give anything just to see her children again, who gave a damn about being deputy. "Our paths are guided by the stars like a leaf caught in a stream. Although they may seem twisted and harsh, there is a destination. A purpose." It didn't stop her from feeling like she was drowning. "I believe mine is to endure the current at your side. If we're together, we'll stay afloat." She stepped closer to him, brushing her cheek against his. "I love you, Shadowheart. We've raised such beautiful children, haven't we?" Emotion finally took over, and she stopped speaking, struggling to regain control of her voice.
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Post by Warrioress on May 1, 2019 11:40:15 GMT -6
Shadowheart turned his gaze to his mate when she started speaking. He felt his throat constrict at her words before forcing himself to speak. "no matter what happens, as long as I have you it will be alright" he mewed, licking Amberhaze's ears lovingly. "I love you as well Amberhaze" his mind drifted to their kits, the warriors they had become. "Our kits are some of the best, they make me proud everyday and always remind me of you, how much you mean to me and how amazing you are" he finished, his ears flicking once.
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Post by gingerluna on May 3, 2019 21:35:44 GMT -6
Amberhaze leaned into the affectionate touch, a ragged purr rising in her chest. Redflame and Peatblossom. They were absolutely perfect. "The Clan needs strong warriors," she mused. "And we provided." The nursery had been so bare in the past few seasons. It tugged at her heart. "Sometimes I wonder if I'd make different choices." She hadn't expected to become pregnant as a young warrior, but obviously she wouldn't trade her kits for anything.
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Post by Warrioress on May 5, 2019 20:19:16 GMT -6
Shadowheart rested his head lightly against Amberhaze's, enjoying the closeness with his mate. His ears twitched at her words, "sometimes I wonder the same thing, but I wouldn't trade our kits for the world, nor would I trade you either. You are my entire world Amberhaze, I would live and die for you" he mewed softly, his voice strong and unyielding in the words spoken.
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Post by gingerluna on May 6, 2019 8:11:12 GMT -6
"As I would for you," she murmured, lifting her gaze to look at the stars. This was perfect. Perhaps an exhale of life, but soon breath would fill their days, and she could feel happy again. She could get through this. She'd mourned her mother and littermates, lived a captive in her own camp, earned a warrior name, battled a fox, given birth, and raised children. She could do this. And so could Shadowheart. They were together, and everything would be alright.
(fin)
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