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Post by Warrioress on Jul 7, 2019 23:31:59 GMT -6
Echostar was making it a small point in the past few days to avoid company, unintentionally doing so, while trying to wrap her mind around the news she was given. She had been certain of it even before she visited Whispermoon, familiar with the feelings of her body having gone thru them once before. This time was different though, she was now leader and had yet to even settle into her new role. She was cursing herself, and trying to find a way to go about telling Jaggedpeak that they were having kits, and worrying about how the tom would react.
She was now sitting just outside her den, watching the sun hover over the horizon, as if it was debating about setting and letting the stars come out for their time to shine. Letting loose a low sigh, she stood up and made her way to the warriors den, hoping that would be where Jaggedpeak was, not having seen him leave or return since she had settled outside her den when the sun was halfway towards setting. There was no better time than the present, and she hoped to also apologize if it had seemed like she was avoiding him when she had just wanted time to settle her thoughts about what she had found out.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 10, 2019 0:24:08 GMT -6
It had been a quiet few days, the usual fanfare of glaring and hissing at other cats, keeping them at a distance more out of habit than actual hatred lately. He still hated most of the ones that were naive, held themselves above everyone else. More and more of his spare time was spent with Echostar, something that some of the other cats noticed, sending whispers up among the cats. It was funny really, the quips they would throw back and forth in front of some cats, just to see the confused expressions. Then all of a sudden, the orange and white leader had become distant, avoiding his company when before they would seek each other out.
At first, Jaggedpeak had tried to chalk it up to her just being busy, settling into her role as the leader of AspenClan, a task that by no means could be easy to adjust to. After a few days though, the voice in the back of his mind had become louder, reminding him of his worthlessness, that Echostar had finally seen it, decided spending time with him was a waste, not worth it. He tried to block it out and not believe it, but...it was hard.
He sat awake in his nest, he knew sleep would be hard to come by that night, ears flat to his skull and a scowl on his face as he glared blankly at the ground in front of him. His father's ghost was loud in his ears, spewing hate and venom. Grumbling he shifted in his nest and lifted his gaze towards the entrance, uncurling slightly as he thought about leaving for a night walk. A familiar face greeted him and he froze, locking gazes with her before raising an eyebrow in question, trying to play off that the voice in his mind was telling him she wasn't there for him.
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Post by Warrioress on Jul 10, 2019 0:50:29 GMT -6
Seeing Jaggedpeak leaving the den, had some relief running thru Echostar, she wouldn't have to go on a search and hunt for him. She gave him a small smile, apology in her eyes before she spoke "can I have a moment with you?" she asked, tilting her head towards her den where they would have privacy as long as neither of them shouted. "I have some things I need to talk to you about, also includes why I sought solitude for the past few days" she explained softly, hoping that he wouldn't just dismiss her.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 10, 2019 1:04:03 GMT -6
/She probably is going to ask you to leave the clan.\ The voice sneered. For a moment he hesitated, watching her with wary eyes before he mentally shook off the feeling. Something about the way she had approached, the look in her eyes had Jaggedpeak frowning deeper, for a moment he was truly worried about being kicked out. Then when she spoke, some relief came, only to be drowned back out by the venomous voice. "Okay. Lead the way." Jaggedpeak finally managed, almost choking on his own words.
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Post by Warrioress on Jul 10, 2019 1:42:48 GMT -6
Echostar could feel the nerves building as they made their way to her den, though she kept her movements controlled. Once they were inside the den, Echostar settled down and waited for Jaggedpeak to get settled before she started speaking. "I-I'm sorry for seeming like I was avoiding you. I learned something that startled me and I was just trying to let it settle in my mind." she started off, resisting the urge to shift her paws uncomfortably.
She wasn't sure whether to continue, wondering whether she should see what his reaction to her apology is before telling him the reason for her need for solitude.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 10, 2019 13:10:47 GMT -6
The short walk to Echostar's den was quiet, and when they stepped into it, he settled down opposite of her, folding his legs under him and curling his tail around himself. He was attempting to remain calm, as if this wasn't possibly a talk that would end in him having to leave AspenClan. What he hadn't been expecting was her apology, the unease and nervousness that hung about her, seemed to cloud the air in the den. Concern flashed through him and he had to wonder what would have the usually head-strong and angry she-cat in front of him so put off.
"What did you learn?" Jaggedpeak asked slowly, his own nerves responding to hers, fear and worry settling into his bones as he watched her.
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Post by Warrioress on Jul 10, 2019 13:18:58 GMT -6
She was glad that he didn't lash out with anger and took a deep breath, knowing that the next words could have many different responses. "I'm pregnant Jaggedpeak, you're going to be a father" she mewed, getting it all out in one go seemed the best bet. She wondered what his reaction was going to be, and hoped to Starclan that he didn't bolt.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 10, 2019 13:34:38 GMT -6
Silence. Jaggedpeak was silent, at least on the outside. On the inside though, he was screaming, panic coursing through him, for the first time in his life the voice was silent, as stunned as he was. He remained still as stone, breathing shallow as he stared with wide eyes at the she-cat in front of him. Never in his life had he thought about this kind of thing, too angry for anyone to want to love him, pushing everyone away others because no one could possibly understand his mind. Except now here he was, in front of a she-cat who knew his mind, his pain, and accepted it.
"Kits?" He choked out.
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Post by Warrioress on Jul 10, 2019 13:46:50 GMT -6
Echostar very nearly bolted herself in the silence that followed her admission. She watched as Jaggedpeak practically froze, the only indication that he was still alive was the shallow breaths. She nodded as he finally managed to speak, though she was sure it was mainly just shock that was running thru him now. "yes, Whispermoon says she believes at least two" she explained, her paws shifting.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 10, 2019 22:57:22 GMT -6
/You'll never be a good father.\ Sneered the voice finally. Jaggedpeak flinched both at the voice's snide comment and the news that two kits would be brought into this world to a father who was too terrified of the idea to even move. He wheezed slightly, head lowering as he tried to keep the panic from drowning him. The shuffle of Echostar's paws drew his attention and he met her gaze, seeing his own worry and panic reflected in her eyes. "Why are you afraid? You know you're a good mother." He rasped out, struggling to regain his composure.
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Post by Warrioress on Jul 10, 2019 23:06:15 GMT -6
Echostar felt her own panic rise at Jaggedpeaks obvious panic, then it clicked in her head when he spoke, she hesitated a moment before moving forward and gently touching her nose to his shoulder "is that what you are afraid of? You are not going to be a bad father Jaggedpeak, maybe an unusual and strict but never a bad one." she mewed, believing her words.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 15, 2019 23:42:25 GMT -6
The gentle touch to his shoulder was welcome, even as he still sat there rigid, scared and wide-eyed. "How do we know that? How do we know I won't be like my father? What if once the kits are born something changes in me? Everyone already thinks I'm too vicious to be around the kits in the camp." He remembered how many queens told their kits to stay away from him, how wary they were when their kits got too close to him when they were playing. Jaggedpeak turned to look at Echostar, gaze dropping to her belly, where his kits were.
"I...." He trailed off, feeling at a loss for words in the midst of all of this.
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Post by Warrioress on Jul 15, 2019 23:50:12 GMT -6
Echostar settled down beside Jaggedpeak, her fur just brushing his "Jaggedpeak listen to me, you are not a vicious cat, you have never once injured or attacked a kit or even been overly aggressive towards them. You won't end up like your father, this I can promise you cause I'll be here with you, every step of the way. That's what parents do, they help guide each other when they stumble, something your father didn't have." she mewed confidently, looking him in the eye and willing him to believe her. She was even more sure of this considering that if by some weird mishap there was an incident during the kitting, she would come back.
"You know I'm telling the truth cause when have I Ever broken a promise?" asking the same question she had during the time she had chased after him in anger, hoping it would instill the same confidence now.
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 16, 2019 0:12:42 GMT -6
He tried to relax a little, the feel of her pelt brushing his helped more than he thought it would, and he took a moment to ease his breathing. Slowly the wheezing stopped and he managed to lift his head again, nerves still clear on his usually angry face. "How does this work? I...we...we aren't mates? And I like you Echostar. I really do, but I don't know if I'm ready to be mates." He drew in a shaky breath, feeling shame that he was saying this to the mother of his kits, feeling afraid that she would turn him away. "I have so much in my head that just doesn't let me let anyone that close."
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Post by Warrioress on Jul 16, 2019 0:21:34 GMT -6
Echostar gave a small smile at Jaggedpeak "thats simple, we are just parents to these kits nothing more. I understand about not letting anyone that close, I like you as well Jaggedpeak and consider you one of my closest friends, but neither am I ready to let anyone that close" she explained, relieved to see that he had calmed considerably from his previous panic. "We focus on the kits, on raising them, thats it"
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Post by darkwolf45 on Jul 16, 2019 0:48:16 GMT -6
Her words were like cool water, rushing over him, easing his tension until he was nearly limp beside her, leaning into her side. The fact that she didn't expect anything from him was a blessing, cause he didn't think he could give her the same love a mate could. Maybe to some degree he did love her, but it was something he shied away from, buried away until he was able to understand it. The fact that she considered him one of her closest friends sent a thrill through him and he gave her a shaky smile, trying to bring back their usual bantering mood. "I bet I can guess why you're so guarded about the idea of mates."
Jaggedpeak mentally shook off the last clinging stickiness of his panic, shoving the voice back as far as he could, "Echostar? Thank you," he started, "Thank you for wanting me to be in the lives of yo--our kits. It means more than you'll ever know, the gift of your faith in me and the gift of allowing me to have a family."
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Post by Warrioress on Jul 16, 2019 12:53:15 GMT -6
Echostar felt her own tension finally melt away as Jaggedpeak finally relaxed, stay where she was as he continued speaking. A snort ripped from her at his comment regarding her own guarded heart, though she let a small smile form at his following words "I'd never keep this from you" she mewed softly, her ears twitching.
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