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Post by theatricals on Jul 8, 2019 15:02:10 GMT -6
Gatherings had been enough for her. They had to be, for her own sake. Ashenstar could never imagine forging a relationship deeper, when said relationship was never supposed to exist to begin with. It was foolish, especially in her age, that she even hoped for such things. But when Acorndrop reported back from his patrol early to tell her that Raggedstar was at the border, requesting to see her, the flash of hope that appeared within her was far too much for a cat like her to withstand. She had been so distracted lately, doing what she needed for her Clan as things went on as normal, that she couldn't have predicted that something like this would ever happen.
The snow had not yet fallen upon their territory, but by the storm clouds ahead and the cool chill ruffling her fur, it was clear that leaf-fall was drawing to a close. She shivered as she walked, her longer fur doing nothing to protect her thin frame from the cold as she struggled to walk without stumbling at all. It was harder among the trees, but despite the difficulty, she wanted to make it there. Her pace quickened slightly when she spotted him near the edge of their land, partly suspicious, but her hope won out. While the tightening in her chest from the effort of keeping the pace was uncomfortable, it wasn't something she was going to wait for. "Raggedstar," she breathed in greeting when she finally came up on him, her tone neutral but her gaze curious.
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Post by matchesrulezu on Jul 8, 2019 18:12:58 GMT -6
Requesting a meeting with another Clan's leader wasn't all too unreasonable to consider, although the little voice in his head reminding him that he wasn't a leader anymore, made him feel more uneasy. Still, he waited at the border, his request already made. He had the advantage that it the news of his retirement hadn't left AspenClan's borders yet. Not necessarily that they were trying to keep it secret, but because it truly wasn't their business. There were very few settings where it would be appropriate to disclose such information, not something to be shared by passing patrols. On cue, he heard the bustling of an approaching figure and he kept his guard up for a moment just in case it might not be Ashenstar, or that Ashenstar might not be alone. They hadn't really spoken in many moons. First because he felt betrayed by her protecting Akai and Eira's kits, then he was abducted, but even after he returned, he was still far away emotionally and mentally. Really, when he thought about it, their last interaction had been laced with anger and betrayal. Maybe she didn't really want to see him, or even alone, given their history.
So Raggedtooth breathed in the same way when Ashenstar came into sight and that she was alone, but his breath caught a little at her address. "Ashenstar," he greeted, dipping his head as a sign of respect. "I suppose I should first let you know that I am no longer AspenClan's leader. I have retired, retaking my warrior name, Raggedtooth."
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Post by theatricals on Jul 11, 2019 14:48:42 GMT -6
The greeting was so formal that Ashenstar was almost taken back, but she was then forced to face the reality of why when he revealed his new name--or, old one in this case. She was silent for a long moment, the new information stirring the automatic response that a Clan leader would have from receiving such information, but prior events considered, she had far more reason to be curious. "You handed down leadership, then," she concluded. It was probably an unnecessary statement, but she couldn't decide how she felt about it. All things considered, it was fully within his rights to decide something such as that, but it was also within her own nature to see such an act as a weakness--at least, had the option been considered by her.
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Post by matchesrulezu on Jul 11, 2019 15:19:36 GMT -6
He nodded his head, silent for a moment. Raggedtooth could tell by her tone that she was apprehensive. Was he not worthy company without his title? It normally would have been brushed off as a ridiculous thought, but he already felt the insecurity from being all too aware of his skin. Raggedtooth might not have considered himself a handsome tom, but he had to have been somewhat attractive before considering Ashenstar had at least once been interested. "I did," he replied quietly. "It was hard, but I could see that Echofrost was ready and I felt that a transition of leadership without the grief of death might be best for AspenClan after everything."
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Post by theatricals on Jul 11, 2019 15:23:58 GMT -6
"After everything," Ashenstar repeated without thought, turning her head away when a breeze swept their way. She was reminded once again that the timing of this meeting was probably not the best, and she shuffled where she stood to hopefully block out more of the cold. "Is that what you called me here for?" she asked, still apprehensive, but she had to hope that that wasn't it. "I find it unusual that you would ask me to meet you here just to tell me that. You could have easily waited for the next gathering." He could have, which made this all the more puzzling for her.
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Post by matchesrulezu on Jul 12, 2019 17:06:22 GMT -6
"I..er..no," he stammered, something he rarely ever did in his life. Raggedtooth glanced away with his good eye, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. "Well I felt that I should tell you privately because we have a history and I know that we haven't spoken in a while, so I thought it might give us a good reason to talk like we used to." He paused to take a breath, only able to think of just being honest. "And I never did apologize about the situation with Ivorysky, Thicketfrost, and Sorrelfire. I could have handled it better. Spoken with you and Floodstar first, at least."
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Post by theatricals on Jul 12, 2019 17:35:06 GMT -6
His reminder about their history made Ashenstar take a step back, surprised that he would even bring it up. Raggedtooth gave off the impression that he held things close, but still, she wondered if he would even want to revisit something like that. His apology was even more out of the blue, although the she-cat couldn't say it mattered much anymore. "It has been a long time. I don't think an apology would have done much then, and it does even less now." She didn't say it cruelly, but she did have a point to make. "You've held on to things for too long, Raggedtooth. Perhaps it's time you moved forward."
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Post by matchesrulezu on Jul 12, 2019 19:46:29 GMT -6
"Funny enough, I've been thinking the same thing myself," he laughed lightly, noticing her step back when he mentioned their history. Raggedtooth began to feel more nervous, but forced himself to take a breath and try to choose his words wisely. "That's part of why I wanted to do this. See you again. By avoiding you, I was avoiding a lot more." He looked at her seriously, holding her gaze with his good eye. "Thank you. For killing her," he said finally, but in his mind he was saying "thank you for freeing me". Raggedtooth knew he was running the risk of Ashenstar thinking he sounded serious, but for him it was something he needed to say. He understood that Ashenstar didn't know about the nightmares that continued to haunt him, at least less frequently, even after finding his first semblance of peace.
- - - - - - - - -
((ooc;; i can't remember if Ragged knew she was saving her kit, or a kit, or even the existence of the kit now?))
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Post by theatricals on Jul 17, 2019 14:26:00 GMT -6
Ashenstar lifted a brow, wondering if she should be more taken back that he thanked her for such a thing. She couldn't say it was unlike him to bring up the past, especially something so personal, but maybe she had underestimated his ability to move on. Moons ago, she didn't think it would have been possible. "I think any cat would have done the same," she responded slowly. A long pause followed, and she felt the strong need to say more. "But you're welcome." It was such a simple statement, and while she wasn't apologizing or even thanking him, it could still be considered an accomplishment that she would acknowledge his thanks with not just a short, curt nod, but a voice that told him she appreciated the sentiment.
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Post by matchesrulezu on Jul 17, 2019 15:04:12 GMT -6
"I understand that she took your kit," Raggedtooth continued, clearing his throat. This part of the conversation was a little more difficult. While he had never admitted it to anyone, not even her, that moment with her in his den had been more than an impulse or rush of hormones. For him it had actually had feeling and depth, something he had hoped to at least figure out after the fact, but the reveal of the identities of Akai & Eira's kits had cruelly interrupted that. Finding out that Ashenstar had kits confirmed for him that she had moved on and he could only tell himself that it was for the best. "I'm truly sorry that she put your family in danger. You have already gone through so much just because you came to my aid after Akai's takeover. I didn't expect her to hold that kind of a grudge against you, but I clearly underestimated her in many ways."
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Post by theatricals on Jul 24, 2019 21:36:20 GMT -6
Ashenstar nodded blankly. Raggedtooth knew as much when he had come upon the scene, but everything had moved so fast that she had almost forgotten the smaller details. Right now it just felt like she was far away, words echoing in her ears without much meaning. "She did not hold enough of a grudge against me to do such a thing. When she did what she did, she was still thinking of you." Considering who Raggedtooth was, it was as easy as threatening those close to him that drew him in. Eventually she let out a long, tired sigh. "Eira knew too much than what I may have believed before. She used that to threaten my son."
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Post by matchesrulezu on Aug 5, 2019 16:25:29 GMT -6
"Me?" Raggedtooth replied, the confusion as evident on his face as it was in his tone. "But...wait..." What does Eira abducting your son have to do with me? he wanted to ask, but he fell silent as his brain worked through Ashenstar's response. How would abducting Ashenstar's son be something that would hurt him? Unless...The rest of the world seemed to fade out as his mind began to put the puzzle pieces together. The timing could match up. Raggedtooth looked at Ashenstar again, hesitant to even say what he was thinking out loud. "Could he be... Is he...ours?"
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Post by theatricals on Aug 10, 2019 12:17:16 GMT -6
She knew the question was coming, just based on his first words alone, but she was forced to take pause when she realized that this was her time to come clean. She still felt much holding her back, keeping her voice from spilling everything, but a sudden calm washed upon her, allowing her to finally speak. "Yes--he and his brothers." It was most likely unnecessary, but it was all a part of what she had kept to herself for what felt like forever. The burden had not left, but the cat who she needed to tell the most now knew.
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Post by matchesrulezu on Aug 29, 2019 15:59:20 GMT -6
His breath escaped him with the realization that he was actually a father. Something that he had long given up hope for. Raggedtooth's mind was reeling, thoughts flashing through his head at light speed. Finally, he took another breath, forcing himself to clear his head and stay calm. "I...wow," he finally replied, only then realizing that there had actually been a long moment of silence after her confirmation. "What are their names?"
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Post by theatricals on Aug 31, 2019 14:45:48 GMT -6
Ashenstar wasn't ashamed of her kits--she was the opposite. But the long pause that followed her confirmation caused her to look away, unsure that she wanted to even see his reaction. She suspected he may not be too happy at the prospect that the kits she bore had gone against the warrior code itself. She couldn't get her hopes up when he finally did respond, but the least she could do was answer his questions. "There is Alpinepaw," she started. "Darkpaw and Mistypaw as well--they will be at the next gathering."
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Post by matchesrulezu on Sept 5, 2019 14:46:19 GMT -6
"Alpinepaw, Mistypaw, Darkpaw," he repeated, familiarizing himself with the names of his sons. Raggedtooth looked at Ashenstar again, noticing that she seemed kind of tense still. Likely unsure of how he was taking the information. "Well I understand that they probably don't know about...me...which I don't blame at all, given the circumstances. But what were your thoughts on it? Like telling them when they get older? Or do you think it would be best if we keep it between the two of us?"
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Post by theatricals on Sept 18, 2019 21:41:07 GMT -6
Ashenstar couldn't have been sure what she was expecting, but she couldn't have predicted that he would be okay with keeping it between the two of them. It made her stop and wonder--was he really okay with that? Did he not want to get to know them? She shook her head at the thought, nearly ready to call herself a mouse-brain. She was speaking as though they belonged to the same Clan. What could she ever expect? "I have not told them anything," Ashenstar replied slowly. "...They never really asked much, except when they were younger. I haven't... I haven't thought too hard on what I should do." There was a part of her--a part that she buried deep and didn't want to listen to, that almost wanted to beg for him to tell her what she should do. After making so many decisions for herself, this was the one thing she needed someone else to do for her.
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Post by matchesrulezu on Sept 30, 2019 14:49:21 GMT -6
"Well I will support you no matter which decision is made," he replied after a brief moment, mulling over what Ashenstar had told him. "You do know them better than I do, after all. I know that you'd make the best decision for them, whichever it may be. Of course, I would like to get to know them, but I understand that this is a complicated situation. There's a lot to consider. Telling them could lead to both of our Clans finding out, and then StarClan knows how that would go." Raggedtooth paused again as he thought about every possible angle of this situation. "But I think that we would all survive either way. Personally, after everything we've been through, I have little fear if everyone found out. But I also am no longer a leader of my Clan, I have little to lose. So I will be as involved as you permit me to be."
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